I saw the Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time the other day and I decided not to write a formal review for it. Typically, I’ll write an informal review for only the films that suck but I feel like being different with this one. The Prince of Persia wasn’t horrible. Being a big fan of the video games I knew the type of movie I was walking into. The film was filled with acrobatic actions sequences on behalf of Jake Gyllenhaal’s character Prince Dastan. There was a proper balance between CGI, live actions stunts, and real set designs which are all things I appreciated since the director could have totally dominated this film with CGI.
My issues with this movie stem mainly from the cheesy dialogue combined with the poor English accent of Gyllenhaal which irritated me like a dry handjob. I don’t understand why there is a need for the characters to speak in an English accent. The setting is in fucking Persia not England. No one in the Persian Empire spoke like that so I don’t understand why English is the go to accent. (In reality they didn’t speak English but that’s neither here nor there) For some reason that is the direction the writers and director decided to go in, so whatever. I would have had less of problem with this movie if Gyllenhaal spoke regularly. As I was watching his performance it was difficult not to focus on his overly accentuated tone. I don’t know why the director didn’t say to him after the first scene, “You know what? Fuck the accent. All the vocal lessons in the world couldn’t help you. Speak in your regular voice and let your acting stand out.” Kevin Costner saw no need for an English accent when he was in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. While it was slightly awkward that his character spoke differently than everyone else it worked and it allowed audiences to enjoy the film. As for the rest of the cast in the Prince of Persia, they were all from the United Kingdom so at least they weren’t a problem. However, the cheesy dialogue was. I shouldn’t really have expected anything different since this film is coming from Disney. Like a majority of Disney films everything was wholesome and finely tuned and lacked elements of rawness. I can at least say that the first two Pirates of Caribbean do not fall into that category. Those movies were done with style. I hated the third one.
In summation, the movie could have been better. Personally, I would have done things differently especially the ending. There are two more parts to the story so sequels are possible. If so, you should expect darker films, especially the second one, which will be filled with uncertainty, peril, and death. I hope they don’t fuck that up.
Overall: C-
My issues with this movie stem mainly from the cheesy dialogue combined with the poor English accent of Gyllenhaal which irritated me like a dry handjob. I don’t understand why there is a need for the characters to speak in an English accent. The setting is in fucking Persia not England. No one in the Persian Empire spoke like that so I don’t understand why English is the go to accent. (In reality they didn’t speak English but that’s neither here nor there) For some reason that is the direction the writers and director decided to go in, so whatever. I would have had less of problem with this movie if Gyllenhaal spoke regularly. As I was watching his performance it was difficult not to focus on his overly accentuated tone. I don’t know why the director didn’t say to him after the first scene, “You know what? Fuck the accent. All the vocal lessons in the world couldn’t help you. Speak in your regular voice and let your acting stand out.” Kevin Costner saw no need for an English accent when he was in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. While it was slightly awkward that his character spoke differently than everyone else it worked and it allowed audiences to enjoy the film. As for the rest of the cast in the Prince of Persia, they were all from the United Kingdom so at least they weren’t a problem. However, the cheesy dialogue was. I shouldn’t really have expected anything different since this film is coming from Disney. Like a majority of Disney films everything was wholesome and finely tuned and lacked elements of rawness. I can at least say that the first two Pirates of Caribbean do not fall into that category. Those movies were done with style. I hated the third one.
In summation, the movie could have been better. Personally, I would have done things differently especially the ending. There are two more parts to the story so sequels are possible. If so, you should expect darker films, especially the second one, which will be filled with uncertainty, peril, and death. I hope they don’t fuck that up.
Overall: C-
LOL, MT! We always know you think something is crap when you dont do a formal review. Thanks for the warning on this one
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