Monday, March 29, 2010

Hot Tub Time Machine

Summary: Adam and Nick take their friend Lou (Rob Corddry) to a ski resort for a wild weekend in order to cheer him up due to his “attempted suicide”. The resort Nick (Craig Robinson) and Adam (John Cusack) decide to go to is the same place where they all partied at back in the 1980’s when life was fun, adventurous, and full of promise unlike their present lives. Along for the weekend trip is Jacob (Clarke Duke), Adam’s nephew, a young man desperately in need of breaking away from his computer and basement. While partying in the hot tub a can of Russian Red Bull spills on the controls and transports them back to 1986 when Michael Jackson was black (and alive), jerry curls were in, and clothes were dominated by BRIGHT colors. The guys are now faced with the decision whether they should play out their past lives the same way or do things different to change their future.

Plot (B): If you take the time travel theories from Terminator 2, The Butterfly Effect, and some other film (not Back To The Future) you end up with Hot Tub Time Machine. Now I didn’t specifically think up of those movies they were stated during the film. Yes it’s unoriginal, but honestly what does it matter…it’s a comedy so not everything needs to make sense. While the script is silly to say the least the likable cast brings more flavor to the film and allows everyone to laugh. The movie is funny there’s no doubt about it and it’s worth seeing now. However, if you decide to wait for the DVD you won’t be missing out. My suggestion: see it now it’s good for the laughs.

Action: (N/A)

Acting & Dialogue (B/B+): Cusack, Robinson, Corddry, and Duke really work well together. Their chemistry is very natural and they each bring something to the table. Robinson (Pineapple Express) was definitely my favorite. I have to say I found it very humorous watching him cry. The way he can act all tough one second then like a little bitch ass pussy is very entertaining and takes the skill of a genius. As for Cusack, It’s extremely fitting to have him star in a movie about the 80’s, even if they time travel back. Cusack brought the same delivery and performance from any film he made back then and it worked. He constantly questioned his choices, thought about his future and how it would work out or in this case why it didn’t. Corrdry (Semi-Pro and W.), the wild man of the group, and Duke have a unique relationship in this film. It goes without saying that Corrdry’s character HATES Duke so he finds creative ways to insult him. Chevy Chase has a cameo in this movie as the hot tub repair man who constantly speaking in metaphors to the guys thus pissing them off. While Chase isn’t super funny his presence is always appreciated. Cripin Glover (Back To The Future) is also in the movie and plays a depressed one-armed bell hop (who wouldn’t be) in the present and a happy go lucky bell hop in the ’86 with two arms. While I enjoyed watching the four main characters Glover’s performance was an added contribution which I found very appealing.

Sex Appeal (8): Insert Chia Pet Song- T-T-T-Titties! Another unknown woman decided to show her 36D gifts to America. Thank you! Thank you!

Director (B): Steve Pink is a relatively unknown guy but has a very diverse resume as an actor, writer, producer, and director. Besides directing Hot Tub Time Machine his next best movie was Accepted starring Justin Long and Johan Hill. He has worked with Cusack in the past which is perhaps the reason why he got the part. Since he’s unknown to the general public I’ll just say that he did a good job with this film.

Overall: B

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Left One Out...

A buddy told me that I was missing Captain America (1990) from the list. I should have put it on the list since the reboot The First Avenger: Captain America is due out in 2011 and they just gave the title part to Chris Evans. Along with the original Punisher film the 1990 Captain America was one of the first Marvel movies created and to say the least it was less than stellar. Corny dialogue, bad acting, no recognizable actors, and little studio support all contributed to the poor outcome. I watched some of the film the other day on YouTube and it reconfirmed by point of view. I will say that the script was on point in certain areas and relatively true to the comics. If it was executed better maybe the film would have been more of a success.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Summary: Mankind becomes infected by a zombie plague that ravages through America leaving few survivors thus turning it into Zombieland. One of those survivors is Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) who is a young man hell bent on not becoming a flesh eating zombie. As long as he adheres to his own set of rules, like good cardio and the double-tap, he thinks he can survive. Along his journey he meets and teams up with Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a man set on his own mission, and two cunning sisters Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). Even though they are strangers to one another they can only trust each other…sort of.
Plot (A): If you ever thought another zombie movie since Shaun of the Dead couldn't be funny you're dead wrong. Zombieland is a movie that not only incorporates comedy but a different sense of creativity that hasn't been seen in zombie movies. For example, the "Zombie Kill of the Week", which was my personal favorite. It was refreshing to see this genre take a different turn from what has been released in the past few years. I'm not trashing previous zombie movies such as 28 Days Later and the remake of Dawn of the Dead. I really liked those films and I thought about them for days after I initially saw them. However, Zombieland allows viewers to become engaged in the story while simultaneously having fun.

Action (A): I’ve always liked well made zombie movies because they usually entail creative death scenes and this is the case with this film. I really enjoyed watching the characters toy with these simple minded creatures. As I mentioned above, the “Zombie Kill of the Week” is the definitely the most original thing implemented to this movie and genre. Are the kills gruesome? In some scenes yes, but it’s all done with a touch of comedy that you can look past it and just laugh.

Acting & Dialogue (A): This is what makes the movie even better. With the exception of certain horror classics the dialogue and acting aren't that good. This isn’t the case with Zombieland. Jesse Eisenberg’s character narrates the movie allowing viewers to hear his inner thoughts about surviving Zombieland, girls, and Tallahassee’s obsession with finding Twinkies (no joke). It was great to see Woody Harrelson in another comedy. Over the past few years his comedies have become few and far between but he still has it. Emma Stone (Superbad) and Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine) contribute to the comedy as well. Lacking in strength they use their best weapon… their brain. Also, Bill Murray makes a cameo as himself, which was great. The addition of such a classic comedian always makes any movie better.

Sex Appeal (4): There are no nude scenes or any sexy moments. There is just Columbus trying to survive Zombieland and hopefully get laid with a girl that doesn’t spit up blood and try to eat him. Poor bastard!

Director (A): Ruben Fleischer is a relatively unknown director. He has directed a few things here and there but Zombieland is definitely his biggest achievement thus far. According to IMDB, he will direct Zombieland 2 so hopefully he can strike gold again. But for his first major motion picture, Fleischer hit a home-run. In the opening credits you see zombies chasing and killing people in slow motion which is accompanied by Metallica’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls” (a great song that is appropriate for the film). This combination immediately grasped by attention. I also have to give props to the writers Rhett Reese and Paul Werrick. If it was not for their well written script I’m not sure the film would have been as good.

Overall: A

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Comic Book Movies: The Good, The Bad, and The Terrible

In the Iron Man 2 post a follower asked for my thoughts on several comic book movies and since these are my specialty I’m more than happy to oblige. Since 2000, there have been numerous comic book movies that have been created. Some of them were very good and some were dreadful. While I won’t discuss every single comic film I will touch upon most and let know the why they were great or why they sucked. Since I already discussed the Spider-Man and Iron Man franchises they will be left out.

1. Superman Franchise-I’d like to start here for one reason: There is so much pressure on this franchise it’s not even funny. In the eyes of many, Superman Returns (2006) was a disappointment. Not only was it was a failure for fans but for Warner Bros. executives as well. For the studio the film did not meet the box office numbers they had hoped for. I don’t really care about numbers. I care about the story and how it’s portrayed. In this case they dropped the ball. Why? THE FUCKING STORY WAS PRACTICIALLY THE SAME AS THE ORIGINAL SUPERMAN. Not that there was anything wrong with the original Superman. It was great for that time. But to use the same premise with the same damn villain is ridiculous. I don’t understand. I’m sorry but I’m SO tired of seeing Lex Luthor in this franchise. There are so many other villains in the Superman universe but they consistently go back to the same one. If he even shows up in the new movie and just sneezes I will lose it. (Note to everyone I am legitimately pissed about this…Keith, Tommy G, you know how I feel and agree.) I want to know what jack-ass moron gave the green light for that script because I'd love to smack that person then put them in the Sharpshooter. The writers also dropped the ball by giving Superman a son with Lois Lane! How were the they going to continue that bullshit angle if they didn’t reboot the franchise? And if they didn’t reboot it frankly there’s no need for him to have a son. That’s something you end a franchise with not start.
With all that said, I did like Bryan Singer as the director and I don’t think this was his fault. There were some good things about the movie. The CGI was very good, the movie had a decent flow to it, and the airplane scene was awesome, especially in 3D. But come on! Can anyone tell me the last time Superman threw a punch in any of these movies? I, we, need a real villain who will physically challenge the Man of Steel and re-establish the franchise. Hollywood had tried for years to make a new Superman but couldn’t agree on the script, on the actor, director, and all this other bullshit. (Did you know that Nicholas Cage was paid $20 million just to read the script? Look at the picture below and tell me a disaster was avoided.) Kevin Smith wrote a script but it was rejected because he wouldn’t cede to every demand of the studio. I would have loved if Smith did it. He’s a huge fan of the comic and would have stayed true to it. This is the problem with Hollywood. These big time executives want to control every single thing thus sucking all the creativity out of the film. I’m sorry I’m just so disgusted. Therefore, I am happy they are rebooting the franchise. All I’m saying is that they better deliver with a new villain and plot. If they don’t, then these shithead Hollywood morons would have ruined an American icon…no an international icon. Superman may have been created in the US but he’s just as recognized everywhere else in the world.
Have you ever seen anything as awful as this picture?
2. X-Men 3: The Last Stand: Where do I want to start with this mess? My main problem with this film was director Brett “Douche Bag” Ratner. In my opinion, this fuck-wad is the worst director in Hollywood and is a cancer to any film he touches. He takes a franchise that was roughly two-two and half hours long and cuts it down to a little more than an hour and a half. Uhhh McFly, you can’t do that! Then three of the major characters die. Again, why? Furthermore, you introduce new characters to the story and then barely put them in the film i.e.) Archangel, Colossus, Jaggernaut, etc. It’s just a recipe for disaster and it’s his entire fault for not putting any substance and heart into the film. He’s Hollywood’s go-to bitch who doesn’t care as long as he gets paid. Fuck him!

3. Batman Franchise- The first two Burton films were good and Nolan’s are excellent. As for Batman Forever and Batman and Robin I’ll say that Joel Schumacher was the biggest reason for the downfall in the franchise. Those two movies were extremely watered down and lacked heart. I didn’t mind Batman Forever because I felt that Jim Carey did do a good job as The Riddler and his chemistry with Tommy Lee Jones was somewhat complimentary so it kept me entertained. With that said both films set design were atrocious. They looked so fake and over the top that I couldn’t look past it. The costumes were less than stellar. If you can recall some genius thought it would be cool to put nipples on the Bat suit, which is flat out retarded. Val Kilmer and especially George Clooney were shitty Batman’s, and Arnold…look I can write a dissertation about how Arnold screwed up but let’s just say he sucked. The part where I lost faith in the franchise was when Val Kilmer stands up in the circus scene and screams, “Harvey! I’m Batman!” Worst. Line. Ever. The Batman character would NEVER say that. Thank God for the reboot and Christopher Nolan.

4. The Incredible Hulk- This franchise was rebooted rather quickly because the 2003 version directed by Ang Lee blew donkey dick. In Ang Lee’s version Banner doesn’t turn into the Hulk until an hour into the movie. Also, the shitty plot coupled with the bad dialogue made the movie very slow and uninteresting. There was no real villain to add excitement (fighting his father at the end doesn’t count). Plus, in the comics Bruce Banner hates that he turns into the Hulk. He wants to be free of the monster inside of him. In Lee’s version he loved it. After I saw the 2008 remake, I was satisfied. Ed Norton was very good. He played the character much like Bill Bixby did from the 1970’s show. A tortured soul desperately searching for a cure and some peace. Also, The Hulk looked much better than that swollen green giant we watched for two hours in 2003, they incorporated a villain The Abomination, and the overall story was more interesting.

5. The Punisher- Forget the 1980’s Dolph Lundgren version. The 2004 remake with Thomas Jane and John Travolta was one of the best Marvel movies created. It was true to the comic. It had vicious death scenes carried out by the killing machine known as Frank Castle aka The Punisher. Many critics and Hollywood executives consider this movie a flop because it didn’t do well in the box office. While that may be true, like I said before, I don’t consider if a movie is bad or good by the amount of money it makes. The script was very good, the story was depressing (which it should be), the acting was strong, and there was a lot of live action instead of CGI. This film is underrated. Talk to any true comic fan and they’ll tell you the same.

6. Fantastic Four 1 & 2 (a shit stain in the comic book movie world)- I was never a huge fan of the Fantastic Four but I did watch the cartoon growing up so I know the story. This franchise is a classic example of bad acting, a shitty script, and worse dialogue. Watching Jessica Alba act (as hot as she is) is like having my nails ripped off. It wasn’t interesting in any way. At the time of it release, Hollywood was just trying to crank out as many comic book movies as possible. This is a perfect example of a movie not having any heart.

7. Dare Devil- Not the worst of the bunch but certainly nothing to get excited about. At least the cast was credible with Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell (who played a good Bulls-Eye), and Michael Clarke Duncan. The CGI was cool looking.

8. Elektra- Shit!

9. X-Men Origins: Wolverine- I think it was better for the uninformed viewers rather than the true fans of Wolverine. I expected more but was content with what was delivered. I would have done things different in the storyline, but whatever. There was CGI in certain scenes when none was needed. For example, when he blows up helicopter with the bad guy in there. In the comics Wolverine would have stabbed that dude right in the fucking face, lit his cigar, and walked away. That’s badass. However, they went for the PG-13 rating and watered it down. There was also the bathroom scene when he pops out his claws and you can clearly see how bad the CGI is. They should have stuck with whatever Bryan Singer did. They looked very real.

10. Watchmen-If you can get past looking at a big blue cock for half the movie this film is awesome. The comic book has a huge following and I was happy that they stayed true to the story. Much different than the other comics on this list because it touched upon a real issue…The Cold War and the paranoia it created in the world. This is just an all around good movie that has great CGI, excellent dialogue, and very good actors. Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach was definitely the best part of this movie. Even though these super heroes were regular people without powers, with the exception of Dr. Manhattan, they were very badass and ruthless.

Comic books movies are very tricky to make because so much is at stake. This genre definitely has its up's and downs. Luckily, there have been good ones released in the last few years and I hope it continues that way. I know I left out certain movies. So if you are curious about a specific one please let me know.

Friday, March 19, 2010

When Mo'Nique and her friends combine their power they morph into.....

....Jabba the Hut!!!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Iron Man 2

The new Iron Man 2 trailer was released the other day and I have to say its looks very good. There's no reason that it shouldn't be better than the first one. New villian, the introduction of War Machine, and a lot more action sounds great to me. I'm very happy with the casting of Mickey Rourke as the bad guy Whiplash. I know he's going to be fantastic. John Favreau is a very good director who cares about authenticity. His ability to combine an interesting storyline, which is more or less true to the comics, with veteran actors, and great CGI, will cement his place as one of great directors in the movie comic book world. Those who are already there are: Bryan Singer of the first two X-Men, Sam Raimi of Spider-Man 1 & 2 (not the 3rd one because that was garbage...cut to Tobey McGuiger dancing and snapping his fingers down a NYC street excuse me while I puke), and of course Christopher Nolan of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. Below is a link to watch the new trailer for Iron Man 2.

On a side note, that's totally comic book nerdy of me but I don't really care, I'm very happy that they incorporated the brief case that turns into a Iron Man suit. So cool! Again, true to the comics!

I'd love to hear what you guys have to say about movie. Let me know.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Lay off me I'm starving!

No Mo'Nique there isn't chocolate inside the little golden man. Contain yourself! Jack In The Box is around the corner.

You...need some more Tyler Perry in your life.

Hi, I’m Tyler Perry. You know me from my sub-par movies such as: Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail, Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns, Tyler Perry’s The Family That Preys, and the shit TV show Tyler Perry’s House of Payne. If you’re wondering why I shamelessly put my name in the front of everything I do it’s because my parents have always referred to me as the Mistake. You see, I was the accident my parents never wanted to happen. As you know revenge is a dish best served cold and that is why I put my name in front of everything I do….also because I have a small dick and it makes me feel better. Here are some upcoming things you can buy with my name on it:

Tyler Perry’s Dildos- the first 50 who purchase will be lucky enough to have them signed. I wish mine was that size.
Tyler Perry’s Depends Diaper- for the elder generation who can’t make it to the bowl…like my dickhead father.
Tyler Perry’s Condoms- these condoms are better than the ones you buy. Why? Because they have my name on them.

Thanks for your time. Please go out and buy something of mine. It’ll make me feel better.

The Mistake I mean Tyler Perry

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Green Zone

Summary: Weeks after the2003 invasion of Iraq, the United States military forces are searching for Weapons of Mass Destruction but are having no luck. Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller (Matt Damon), who leads the WMD unit, starts to question if such weapons exist within the country. The more he searches for answers the more bureaucratic cover up he finds.

Plot (B-): Only in America can its people make a movie about how our government royally screwed up. By taking actual events and transferring them to the silver screen this film allows for a stronger sense of authenticity. The film is based on the book by Rajiv Chandrasekaran, former Baghdad Bureau Chief of the Washington Post, so if you‘re wondering about the validity of what is shown take it up with Rajiv. With that said, this film was entertaining but I wasn’t spectacular at the same time.

Action (B): Good action that shows the general audience how American troops get the job done! At the same time it’s nothing different than anything I’ve seen before.

Acting & Dialogue (B+): You’re never going to get a bad performance from Matt Damon. He’s just too good. He spoke with a slight Southern accent and incorporated military jargon, which adds to his character. What’s even better about this film is that many of the extra’s used in the film, especially with Damon’s unit, were actual soldiers. Therefore, what you see during the film is what our military forces do. Greg Kinnear (Stuck on You), Brendan Gleeson (Gangs of New York), and Jason Issacs (The Patriot) also star in the film and provide a strong supporting cast. Kinnear plays Clark Poundstone (perhaps brother of Paula Poundstone) the bureaucratic pencil pusher. I wish him and Damon had more screen time together. They’re awesome in Stuck on You and could have really elevated this movie higher.

Sex Appeal: N/A

Director (B): Paul Greengrass, who directed the last two installments of the Bourne series, did a good job with this action flick. Greengrass shot the movie the same way as The Bourne Supremacy and Ultimatum where he used a lot of hand held camera. This means several things: the camera is moving a lot so it hard to focus, there are a lot of quick cuts, and my wife would definitely get sick if she saw this. There is a deeper meaning for shooting that kind of way. It’s supposed to represent the chaos and unbalance in the characters life. While it served great for the Bourne movies I don’t feel it was necessary for this movie.

Overall: B

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Whoever smelt it dealt it!

Is it me or does it look like Mo'Nique is smelling the fart she just dealt because she's so excited? Yes or no?

My Thoughts on the 2010 Oscars

The Oscar’s were Sunday and I have to say that I’m not really surprised by the winners. As much as I’m interested to see who wins the major awards I honestly don’t find the show all that entertaining in general. I can’t watch it for more than 5-10 minutes at time because it’s so corny and wholesome. However, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were funny. The last time I really cared about the Oscars was three years ago when The Departed won. That was historic for Scorsese’s sake. This past Sunday I had the pleasure to see a crying Sandra Bullock, a woman who starred in Demolition Man, The Net (wait it gets worse), Speed 2: Cruise Control, and Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (okay now puke), except her award for playing a blond southern belle (I didn’t see The Blind Side but I did hear good things so I’m not trashing the movie). Bask in your post-Oscar happiness Sandra but just know it won’t last long, because I am sooo looking forward to the disaster film you shoot next. This is something every Oscar winner ends up doing and now it’s your turn to eat some shit flavored humble pie.

I’m happy that The Hurt Locker won for Best Picture and Best Director. That was well deserved. The last thing I, or anyone, needed to see was James Cameron win for Avatar. That guy has so much money he can afford to use $100 bills as jerk-off rags and he doesn’t need any more attention. As for Jeff Bridges he said in a backstage interview that he hopes his award will bring “peace and posterity” to the world. Hey Dude, if the people of the world can’t do that what makes you think winning a golden statue will make that happen.
Congratulations to everyone else even though you’ll never read this. Below is the full list of winners of the major categories.

Best Picture- The Hurt Locker
Best Director- Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker)
Best Actor- Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)
Best Actress- Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)
Best Supporting Actor- Christoph Waltz (Inglorious Basterds)
Best Supporting Actress- Mo’nique (Precious)

Friday, March 5, 2010

Top 10 Drug Movies

1. Trainspotting (1996) - One of the best movies I’ve ever seen and in my all-time Top 5. I love everything about this film: the setting (Edinburgh, Scotland), the accents, the actors and characters, Ewan McGregor’s opening monologue followed by his narration of the story, and the message. I put Trainspotting at number one because it leaves the viewers with a positive feeling at the end of film. This is not something you often get with drug films. It show’s you that life can go on without heroin, people can change, but sadly it’s only through drastic and horrific experiences will they recognize a change is needed. From the moment Iggy Pop’s “Lust for Life” starts playing in the opening credits coupled with McGregor’s powerful monologue you will become hooked. I know I was.

2. Requiem for a Dream (2000) – While Trainspotting gives hope at the end of the film Requiem for a Dream is the antithesis. In fact, it fucking shits on all sense of hope…ever. From beginning to end it’s a downward spiral of people’s lives due to their addiction of heroin. You see the outrageous lengths a person will go to just so they can score. After watching this film you won’t be the same.

3. Traffic (2000) – A unique look into the world of drugs (mainly cocaine). Traffic provides a macro- and micro-examination of the drug world. More specifically it depicts the addiction/pain it causes users and parents, the political fight against drugs, and the lives of law enforcement officers in the US and Mexico . Although I wasn’t crazy about this film when I initially saw it due to its multiple storylines and the way it was filmed, it did grow on me due to the impact it has. I love watching it now.

4. Less Than Zero (1987) – The first five minutes of movie the main characters are as happy as they’ll ever be. They just graduated high school and have the whole world to conquer. However, becoming addicted to cocaine changes things. While you mainly see Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Gertz struggling with their addiction you also witness the tension it creates for friend Andrew McCarthy. What’s really strange about this film is how socially accepted cocaine was during the 1980’s. It was completely normal for several people to snort lines of coke in the bathroom which is unhygienic on so many levels.

5. Blow (2001) - Another great performance by Johnny Depp. Based on true events, Depps plays George Jung who was one of the people who brought cocaine into the United States in 1970’s and 1980’s and partly responsible for its sky-rocketing success. Even though George Jung was a drug trafficker aligned with the most sinister man on the planet Pablo Escobar, it’s impossible not to like this character. There is a certain charm and innocence that Depp depicts allowing viewers to become okay with the fact that he’s a drug lord. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself cheering for him halfway through the movie.

6. Half-Baked (1998) - Probably the best movie for pot-lovers due to its comedy and innocence. It’ll make you laugh, smoke up more, and eat some Funyuns...yea Funyuns! There are so many memorable lines from this movie that you’ll never get tired of reciting them. “You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!” Classic!

7. Dazed and Confused (1993) – Another stoner movie that maintains innocence but is funny as hell. Although this film is not about the buying and selling of weed on a massive level it simply shows how stoned everyone in the 1970’s was.

8. Spun (2002) - A whirlwind movie about the effects of speed. Let me quote the great Artie Lange in regards to this drug, “Speed is good drug to do…if you want to walk to Wisconsin for the weekend.” The film is very fast paced and will leave the viewer with some unsettling feelings. There’s a laundry list of well noted actors that accurately display the effects of speed and the way it turns life upside down. (Don’t worry mom and dad I never touched the stuff. So Mom stop asking repetitive questions and Dad stop scratching the back of your head.)

9. Narc (2002) - Wow, where to begin with this movie. From the opening to closing scene things are insane and highly intense in this story of narcotic cops. Starring Jason Patric and Ray Liotta it is definitely not a happy movie and highlights how addiction can grab anyone even well established cops. Ray Liotta is excellent in this movie and so intense that if his character was real I may cry if we crossed paths.

10. 25th Hour (2002) – Another powerful and moving film dealing with heroin. However, it takes the point of view of the dealer and not the addict. An all star cast featuring Ed Norton, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Barry Pepper, Brian Cox, Rosario Dawson and directed by Spike Lee. This film shows the severe consequences of dealing drugs. The movie shows Ed Norton’s last day before going to prison for seven years. When I saw this movie for the first time my heart practically broke at the end. This is definitely one of Spike Lee’s best and worth seeing.

Two movies that didn’t make the list but I feel that it’s necessary to mention them:

* Permanent Midnight (1998) - This is true story about writer Jerry Stahl (Alf, Bad Boys II, CSI), played by Ben Stiller, who is a heroin addict. This is not one of Stiller’s blockbuster films but it’s very powerful. Stiller show’s he does have the ability to step out of the comedy zone and make you feel the characters suffering.

** Grandma’s Boy (2006) – A cult comedy that went under the radar when released but funny as hell. It combines two things: smoking weed and playing video games, which sums up certain people’s college life. This film is a Happy Madison Production, which is owned by Adam Sandler. Therefore it stars all the regulars on Sandler’s team except himself. Like Half Baked, this movie has so many funny quotes, “You’re shit’s weak! You’re shit’s weak! (insert high pitched voice) You’re shiiitttt’s weak!” or the great JP, “I’ve been thinking about getting metal legs. It’s a risky operation but it’s worth it.” Gotta love it!

Do you think I forgot any movies? Please let me know. I'd love to hear from you.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Double the Pleasure Double the Fun!!!

I read in Entertainment Magazine that Kate Winslet (Titanic) keeps her Oscar in her bathroom. I’m assuming it’s for decorative purposes. That’s pretty weird if you ask me. Why put something of so much value in a place where you shit? If that’s the case, she probably uses her Golden Globes as butt plugs.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Four Rooms

Summary: A new Bellhop named Ted (Tim Roth) is stuck working the late shift on New Year’s Eve. During the course of the night he is thrown into situations with guests in four different rooms.

Plot (A): What a great storyline. Each room that Theodore encounters is so outrageous and funny. Each of the four rooms he walks into have nothing to do with the previous. The only thing they have in common is Ted and shit storm they throw him into.

Action (N/A): This film isn’t about action at all. However, do not worry! This film does not slow down by any means. Each room presents its own “action” and tension keeping viewers entertained.

Acting &Dialogue (A): Tim Roth is excellent in this film. He plays his character with tons of energy. I love the way he talks to the guests especially the kids. While Roth is the main character there are several other actors in this movie who are very good. It would take too long to explain what I liked about them so I’ll just list the other actors: Madonna, Valeria Golino (Hot Shots!), Maris Tomei, Antonio Banderas, Quentin Tarantino, Jennifer Beals (Flash Dance), Bruce Willis, and a few other people whose faces who’ll recognize.

Sex Appeal (A): Yes, there are tits in this movie, hence the A for this category. Therefore, I’m happy!!!

Directors (A): This movie is very different from any other movie because each scene has a different director. Each director wrote the scene they directed. The first two directors you probably don’t know, they are Alison Anders and Alexandre Rockwell. The second two you heard of and they have worked together a few times before. The third scene was directed by Robert Rodriguez (Desperado) and the fourth was directed by none other than Quentin Tarantino. Each scene is written and directed very well. Each new room Ted the Bellhop enters is worst then the previous, thanks to the creativity of the writers/directors.

Overall: A-

(Note: I saw this movie a year after it came out which was 1995. It is one of my favorite movies and I highly recommend it.)

Pauly Shore: Actor of the Month

Why: Pauly Shore has contributed several cult-like comedies and he deserves proper recognition in the eyes of The Movie Titan. Although he starred in some television shows in the late 1980’s (21 Jump Street and Married With Children) it wasn’t until 1992 that he came into his element with Encino Man as Stoney Brown aka the Weasel. His signature long curly hair and unique dialect set him apart from his contemporaries especially when he told America to “Squeeze the ju-uicccee!” Shore then went on to star in Son in Law as Crawl or as the father referred to him as Crotch, In the Army Now, and Jury Duty. But in my opinion his best performance was in Bio-Dome as Bud Macintosh. Co-starring Stephen Baldwin, before he got super religious and ceased to be funny, Bio-Dome is funny from start to finish. I, along with my friends, quote this movie more than any other Shore film, “Free Mahi -mahi! Free Mahi -mahi!”; (wearing the Helium mask) “Dennis Hopper Blue Velvet: “Oh I’m slutty oh I’m slutty!”

Although Pauly Shore is more known for racking up bunny tail at the Playboy mansion these days, you can’t deny his sense of humor and his ability to create words like “grindage” =food. For reasons such as these I award March’s Actor of the Month to Pauly Shore. Now excuse me while I go watch some Jeo……..pardy!!!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Not So Fast I'm Furious

So I recently watched the fourth and latest installment of the Fast and the Furious franchise (note it was on HBO I wouldn’t waste money renting that bullshit) entitled Fast and Furious. I’ll admit that I’m not proud of it but I have to watch the good and the bad. Now I didn’t mind the first one but how many times can these Hollywood writers re-invent the same crap? This franchise always consists of people, mainly guys, who live life on the edge by racing. They pop massive boners when they talk about their fancy ass cars, which in reality take you from Point A to Point B like every other car. Furthermore, these characters are always so tough and speak in their own car jargon confusing the general audience. If you’ve seen any of these movies you know what I’m talking about. For example, Douche Bag 1: “What you got rockin’ under that hood?” Douche Bag 2: “You don’t even know bro. I’m blastin' a V6 engine upgrade with twin NOS tanks and blah blah blah. This shit is gonna take me through the finish line!” Yea it’s then going to take you right through a fucking wall. You can get the same effect driving a Toyota these days and pay half the price. I’m just asking for a little diversity. I'm not knocking the people in real life who are into this stuff that's fine. I'm just poking fun at these Hollywood morons who get paid to make this crap.