Monday, May 3, 2010

Memorial Monday: Bad Santa (2003)

Summary: Two thieves pose as Santa and an elf in a mall so they can rob the department stores on Christmas Eve. Willie (Billy Bob Thornton), who poses as Santa, is a dead beat drunk who can’t get his shit together and has a obession with women and anal sex. Marcus (Tony Cox) is the midget (is that the PC term…ah fuck it) who poses as the elf and is the brains of the operation. While they usually don’t run into problems during their scams this Christmas proves to be very different.

Plot (B+): Let me start of by saying that I love this movie! It’s so damn funny and I think it caught many viewers by surprise when it initially came out. You have to admire the creativity of the writers. Not only did they make a funny film but they made a funny raunchy film centered on the jolliest holiday. What really made this movie standout were two factors: 1) the shit stain of a life Billy Bob Thornton’s character leads, and 2) the Kid, who according to the main characters, is a fucking pathetic loser. You’ll find yourself laughing throughout the entire movie but don’t be surprised by the vulgarity. This is definitely one of my favorite Christmas films due to the fact that it’s so unconventional.

Action (B): Does kicking and punching other people the balls count? I think so.

Acting & Dialogue (A): Anything Thornton, Cox, or the Kid say or do screams brilliance in regards to the writing. Thornton’s character is a deadbeat alcoholic dickhead who has no filter when's speaking to other people. For example, analyze this comment as he fornicates with heavy set woman in a dressing room, “Yea baby! Yeah baby! You're not gonna shit right for a week.” Santa’s callous personality coupled with Marcus ‘sarcastic remarks make them an indomitable comedic team. Bernie Mac and John Ritter are also in the film. Both have minor roles but are funny, especially Ritter. The innocence and political correctness his character adds is a twist to the dirty dialogue. Sadly, this was the last movie he starred right before his death.

Sex Appeal (7): There is an unrated version called Badder Santa and I can’t remember if there are any nude scenes in it. However, in both versions do see Lauren Graham in nice lingerie moaning in a harmonious rhythm, “Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa!”

Director (B+): Other than Bad Santa, Terry Zwigoff hasn’t directed anything of real value. However, you don’t need to be Spielberg or Scorsese to make a good movie. In my opinion, the well written story and acting allowed this movie to be a hit leaving Zwigoff with little to do.
Overall: B+


  1. Yes this movie is VERY funny and VERY vulgar but you failed to mention how dark it is too. The fact that it takes you on such an emotional roller coaster is part of what makes it great (I think it deserves at least an A-)

  2. I gotta agree with Peeka here. This movie is hysterical. U gotta give more props to Bernie Mac and John Ritter. Anytime either of them are in a scene with Billy Bong and Cocks it's priceless. I.E. "I'll stick you up my ass small fry." I would grade it A, A-.

    I'll leave you with this:
    "This one has a candy corn in it"
    "They can't all be winners kid"

  3. All very good points. I failed to specify how dark the film is, which is a integral aspect the story. Although I thought Bernie Mac was funny I have to give it to John Ritter. Below is my favorite part of Ritters:

    Bob Chipeska: Hi. Bob Chipeska. Welcome. Great photo and resume by the way.

    Marcus: Thanks. You know, we've been at this for a long time and all, so we like to think we do a good job.

    Bob Chipeska: You two are perfect for this job, truly. So, I don't want his unpleasentness affect your performance in any way.

    Marcus: Oh no. We...

    Willie: Performance?

    Bob Chipeska: Yes. Your performance. You know, the...

    Willie: Do you mean sexual?

    Bob Chipeska: Excuse me?

    Willie: Are you saying there's something wrong with my gear? Is that what you're saying to me?

    Bob Chipeska: I'm sorry, your gear?

    Marcus: Willie...

    Willie: My fuck stick

    Marcus: Willie, take a seat. You know how your blood sugar is.

    Bob Chipeska: He's not going to say fuck stick in front of the children, is he?

    Marcus: No! It was just a joke. An adult joke. For us, adults. It's a joke. Just a joke.

    Excellent movie!

  4. yes this movie is in fact disturbing. like everytime the kid get verbally abused it makes me SO sad. and when bad santa eats all of his chocolate things out of that story book it seriously makes me want to cry. haha. maybe bc i know the sadness of coming home and finding my food to be eaten. either way this movie is still in fact brilliantly funny.

  5. If there's no note its up for grabs