Monday, March 1, 2010

Not So Fast I'm Furious

So I recently watched the fourth and latest installment of the Fast and the Furious franchise (note it was on HBO I wouldn’t waste money renting that bullshit) entitled Fast and Furious. I’ll admit that I’m not proud of it but I have to watch the good and the bad. Now I didn’t mind the first one but how many times can these Hollywood writers re-invent the same crap? This franchise always consists of people, mainly guys, who live life on the edge by racing. They pop massive boners when they talk about their fancy ass cars, which in reality take you from Point A to Point B like every other car. Furthermore, these characters are always so tough and speak in their own car jargon confusing the general audience. If you’ve seen any of these movies you know what I’m talking about. For example, Douche Bag 1: “What you got rockin’ under that hood?” Douche Bag 2: “You don’t even know bro. I’m blastin' a V6 engine upgrade with twin NOS tanks and blah blah blah. This shit is gonna take me through the finish line!” Yea it’s then going to take you right through a fucking wall. You can get the same effect driving a Toyota these days and pay half the price. I’m just asking for a little diversity. I'm not knocking the people in real life who are into this stuff that's fine. I'm just poking fun at these Hollywood morons who get paid to make this crap.


  1. movie titan, of all the Fast and Furious variations, which would take the award for best produced/storyline? (in your opinion)

    i ask because in high school, these movies sparked many young students to drag race, upgrade their mediocre honda civics.

    in particular, i liked the first fast/furious. on your rating scale, you'd have to give it an A for sex appeal (jordana brewster and michelle rodriguez)

    what about action, as a mid-teen, i really think rob cohen targeted high school males precisely!

  2. Hated this movie but Paul Walker is so hot it didnt matter how much it sucked!

  3. Daniel:

    I agree with you. I liked the first one the best. I thought the second and third installments were complete shit. I never saw them but I could tell. Anything with Tyrese Gibson is dog shit and he is the worst actor in Hollywood so I refused to watch it. I would have to give the first film a B overall.

    Yes there was good sex appeal in that film but I consider A material showing tits and ass and sex scenes. I would give it a B- in that department because the story centered on the guys.

    As for action I would give it a B+. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Vin Diesel beat the shit out of that Asian ganger leader. Not all action has to be fighting and I liked the racing scenes, especially when they showed what was happening inside the car during the race. Like I said, I dont mind watching the first one. For what it was worth it was good and different for its time. However, Hollywood needed to capitalize on the franchise with other installments and they fell flat. Hollywood also expanded with other automotive movies like Torque, which was about motorcycles and was garbage.

    That film was very big for males ranging from 14-25 and hit hard with high school kids, which is a great way to get viewers and generate money.

    Good points Daniel!